Hi Internet. I haven’t been around much because….well, just because. Not much to excite you with as of late, I guess. But I do have some things to share before I mentally check out for the weekend.

1. I have gone to hot yoga every day this week, and each day has been a completely different practice for me. I think it’s so crazy that one day I find it easy, another day feels impossible, and yet another class I am practically laying on the mat through each move. Last night’s class was my favorite because I was able to push myself a bit further into some beautiful postures.

Dancer’s Pose (I got my HEEL above my head..like this:)

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Toe Pose:

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2. The world now apparently has Fluffy Cows. I need to find out where these are and go hug one of those suckers.

3. Hey, remember when blogs/twitter/instagram/facebook were just people’s way of posting original thoughts and fun stuff? Well now they have all evolved into obnoxiously obvious ways of gross promotion. 75% of my Instagram feed consists of ads, 90% of my twitter feed are retweets, shameless brand plugs, and other lame things that no longer amuse me; and my blogroll is now filled with blogs that seem to jam pack as many sponsored posts in as possible. I have seen some social media ‘biggies’ that are ambassadors for an array of products that aren’t even in the same category, yet they nor the company seem to mind since the audience reach is just so large. I’m not going to take you seriously if one day you’re promoting cheese and the next day you’re promoting something non-dairy. I just don’t get it. Well, actually I do. Those bloggers get free crap, then they get to give away that free crap which will increase their number of followers on various forms of social media. Then, the company will sponsor them to go to events, and really, who turns down a free, all-expenses paid trip, regardless of the premise? End rant. (please take no offense, alright?)

4. Single serving microwave chocolate chip cookies. Yes, they are fantastic. It’s enough to hit the spot without having to bake a huge batch of cookies- and there is no additional temptation to eat half the batch. I use this recipe, and have been toppinig it with a variety of things like fruit, nuts, and homemade almond milk ‘frosting’.

5. My wedding is in 22 days. There, that’s all I’m gonna say that’s wedding related. If I should rant about another thing, it’s social media and big life events. I get that they’re exciting, but hot dang, no one needs to know every little detail. Sure I might have said I bought my dress or visited the venue or whatever, but I didn’t write a 1000 word essay about it. You won’t care. Plus, I don’t have 1000 words to say about it. Or my invitation selection. This is just about my only huge life event so far (besides moving to Canada, but I guess since not everyone does that I found it necessary to write about in case anyone was considering doing it. In which case, don’t. It was A LOT OF WORK. PAPERWORK. Like, remember when you filled out all those college applications and your hand would cramp? Before then, you never had your SSN memorized, but it was ETCHED in your brain by the time you were done. ps: I ended up writing the WRONG social security number on all my applications, because my mother told me the wrong number, so that was fun to deal with.) So yeah, I’ll probably post some pics after the wedding, but I’m not going to give you a 100 different recaps on every little event. Same goes for when I get pregnant. I guarantee you already know by now how big fetuses are in certain stages of gestation, and all that jazz. And do you really want to know when I crave weird foods or buy maternity pants? No, because it’s most likely a given. End rant. (Actually, some days I eat so much that I already need maternity pants, sans baby in belly. Just food.) Again, take no offense.

6. Wait, so I guess one more thing about the wedding: I’m excited to PARTAY.

7. So, I don’t have an acne problem or anything, but since I ALWAYS wear crops when I workout, I tend to get minor breakouts on my legs. Gross, I know. I finally bought some Neutrogena body scrub (since I use their facewash) in the hopes that it might help eliminate some of those little red sweat bumps. Only thing it’s done so far is make me crave grapefruit every time I shower.

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So yeah, everything, I MEAN EVERYTHING here is labeled in both French and English. Understandably. In the case of the body wash, I just laugh because grapefruit in french makes me laugh. Click here to hear it. But seriously, when I buy something that has cooking instructions or something, I get so lost looking between both languages. Sounds silly, but look at the back of a box of rice and try to recite the instructions in Engligh RIGHT AWAY. Guarantee you’ll see the French first and be like

8. Hey, does anyone want to write a guest post for me? It can be on anything– since my posts usually are. You can talk about fitnessy stuff, foods, BOOZE, the shape of your most recent poop…whatever.

9. Every summer, I get the urge to buy a bathing suit. I really have no idea why, because I NEVER wear them, and when I do, there are usually clothes over them, or I’m completely submerged in a body of water. NOT A LAKE. I freaking hate lakes. HATE LAKES. They’re pretty to look at, sit by, boat on, but not swim in. Why? Because the water is so dark, you can’t see your feet. And who knows what lake creatures there are in the lake. Fish? HELLS NO PEOPLE. I do not tolerate no stinking fishies. I do remember one summer in college my parents and I and my ex boyfriend went out on the lake on our boat. When we got to the center, my dad anchored and my ex jumped in to swim. Not me, I was in my bathing suit with my clothes worn over them and perfectly happy in the sun. BUT NOOOOOOOOO my mom thought it would be funny to push me in. Guys, I’m a good swimmer and all, but I screamed bloody murder. I was kicking my legs SO HARD in an effort to practically propel my body out of the water. After a dozen or so screams (and I’m sure some broken blood vessels in my face) my mom finally threw me a bunch of life vests so that I could make a make-shift floating device and SEE all of my extremities. I could have punched my mother for that one.

10. I honestly have no idea how, but I’ve stopped drinking coffee. And we just got a Tassimo machine. Hmmm..

11. All my workouts this week (in addition to HY) have been from the Women’s Health Big Book of Exercises. It got me to start using the cable machines, which I haven’t in a LONG time. The moves target the same muscles in some of the free weight exercises I have been doing, but SLOW DOWN SUZY they made me sore. Basically, I have been a happy, sore lady all week.

12. Ok, I haven’t been happy ALL the time. There are stresses with the job hunt and what not. If I get into THAT, you’ll be reading yet another rant. And I think 2 is plenty for this post.

13. I haven’t craved a drink all week. Does that mean I need anti-intervention? I guess the weather has been so on and off that my body can’t decide what it wants.

14. I should probably change out of my nightgown and turn some lights on now, because it’s totally not acceptable on a Friday afternoon. I think yoga pants and the glow of the TV should suffice.