So, having a baby is hard. Ok, wait having the baby wasn’t the hard part…caring for the baby is.

I dropped my parents off at the airport early Monday morning and basically haven’t stopped crying since. I can’t believe I was actually excited for how life alone (during the weekdays) with a newborn would be because now that I’m experiencing it, I am:

• exhausted
• in pain (mental/physical/you name it)
• sad
• angry (yes, there are those fleeting moments)
• depressed
• tired
• tired
• tired

Babies are HARD WORK. I think doing 100 consecutive burpees would be an easier task- seriously. Or having an insane hangover. Easy compared to making sure the baby is dry, fed, and happy. Yeah yeah, I am SUPER grateful for having this tiny little human and yeah I think he is the most gorgeous, perfect little dude and wouldn’t have it any other way, but WOOF.

Another thing? I’m dying to have anything non-baby related in my life. You know, to feel….normal. Maybe I’ll have more fitness related things to chat about once I start working out again? And alcohol is at a minimum since the kid eats ALL.THE.DAMN.TIME. He’s a tank. Did I mention that he is 4 weeks old and already past 10 lbs? CHUNK

Great, now I’m looking at him in his bouncy seat and I’m starting to cry. Cry because I love him so much and cry because he is driving me crazy. Cry because he is so freaking adorable and HAS DIMPLES; cry because I don’t want to hold him for 8 hours straight because that’s the only time he won’t cry. Cry because I don’t know why he’s crying. Basically, lots of crying.

On a positive note, I’ve met with a lactation consultant 2x now and she has helped me correct my form which has made the feedings much easier. Plus, I mentioned to her that I loved the pillow they have in the room, and she gave me the number of the place where they are specially made so I picked one up ASAP and it is so much more comfortable than the Boppy.

Run on sentence, whatever.

I’m not complaining. Call it an airing of grievances. I just gotta get it off my chest and maybe *somehow* I can find comfort in knowing that everyone goes through this and eventually it will all get better.

Wait..it WILL get better.

Ah, I feel better already.