Babies are Hard

So, having a baby is hard. Ok, wait having the baby wasn’t the hard part…caring for the baby is.

I dropped my parents off at the airport early Monday morning and basically haven’t stopped crying since. I can’t believe I was actually excited for how life alone (during the weekdays) with a newborn would be because now that I’m experiencing it, I am:

  • exhausted
  • in pain (mental/physical/you name it)
  • sad
  • angry (yes, there are those fleeting moments)
  • depressed
  • tired
  • tired
  • tired

Babies are HARD WORK. I think doing 100 consecutive burpees would be an easier task- seriously. Or having an insane hangover. Easy compared to making sure the baby is dry, fed, and happy. Yeah yeah, I am SUPER grateful for having this tiny little human and yeah I think he is the most gorgeous, perfect little dude and wouldn’t have it any other way, but WOOF.

Another thing? I’m dying to have anything non-baby related in my life. You know, to feel….normal. Maybe I’ll have more fitness related things to chat about once I start working out again? And alcohol is at a minimum since the kid eats ALL.THE.DAMN.TIME. He’s a tank. Did I mention that he is 4 weeks old and already past 10 lbs? CHUNK

Great, now I’m looking at him in his bouncy seat and I’m starting to cry. Cry because I love him so much and cry because he is driving me crazy. Cry because he is so freaking adorable and HAS DIMPLES; cry because I don’t want to hold him for 8 hours straight because that’s the only time he won’t cry. Cry because I don’t know why he’s crying. Basically, lots of crying.

On a positive note, I’ve met with a lactation consultant 2x now and she has helped me correct my form which has made the feedings much easier. Plus, I mentioned to her that I loved the pillow they have in the room, and she gave me the number of the place where they are specially made so I picked one up ASAP and it is so much more comfortable than the Boppy.

Run on sentence, whatever.

I’m not complaining. Call it an airing of grievances. I just gotta get it off my chest and maybe *somehow* I can find comfort in knowing that everyone goes through this and eventually it will all get better. WILL get better.

Ah, I feel better already.

photo 5-17

photo 3-40

photo 1-54

22 thoughts on “Babies are Hard

  1. Welcome to the fourth trimester. It’s the best and worst ever! But seriously, you’re almost over that super cranky baby hump… It gets better, SOON! Really!

    But yeah, babies are crazy hard. I’m almost glad to be back at work and back on a normal “real life” schedule. Hang in there, Mama!

  2. Could he be gassy? My friend has a 4 month old and when he was really little she used gripe water all the time to help sooth his belly. Just a thought!! I am sure you are doing really well. It will all get better! Don’t be afraid to ask for help from those around you. 🙂

    (I wish I lived closer and I would bring over snacks)

  3. God the first 6 weeks are so so so fucking hard. Husbands just don’t get it. It gets better when they start smiling at you and interacting more. Quinn is still a cry monster but it is more tolerable now that she smiles because it’s like “ok, you don’t hate my guts.” Also, I 10000000% relate to you wanting non baby things in your life. I feel like I’ve lost this huge HUGE chunk of my identiy and I’m struggling to get it back/find it. I don’t want to get lost in being a mom. I wish I had more insight into it at this point, but I don’t, so just know your not alone and I really wish we lived a bit closer so we could enjoy wine, beer, and margaritas during the day together while our baby’s cried for no reason and boycotted naps.

    • I’ve actually stomped my feet when nursing because I get so mad and then I kinda randomly yell at him like he even knows what I’m saying. Then I feel super SUPER guilty and start crying. I think a good night’s sleep can fix that..whenever that may come!

  4. Girl it gets easier … You gain confidence and you get to know your baby ! Cut yourself some s lack , it’s like two strangers meeting and it takes time to build that relationship but everyday you’re doing it!! all my friends have said the exact same thing you have and I’ll need you to pump me up in about two months! Deal?

    • yes yes! I know it gets better, it’s just the lack of sleep and trying to figure out his likes/dislikes that can just get so dang frustrating! I am craving the day when all the kinks are worked out….so like, sometime in 2030?

  5. Yup you nailed it! The one thing I can promise you is that it does get better!! I can’t tell you when, since every baby and mother is different, but it does. If you can, try to get out and make life somewhat normal again. Just getting out of the house can be a huge lifesaver, even if it’s just for a walk, to get groceries or window shop. If you ever want to get together on a Thursday/Friday let me know! I’ll hold your little man!

  6. Babies are hard
    Baby number 3 is almost 4 weeks and I totally forgot how draining the period is till they are 8 weeks .
    6 weeks is the worse then if gets better I promise haha
    Baby wearing saved and still saves my sanity :))

  7. aww I have no experience here but can pretty much guarantee that I’ll feel exactly the same way as you!! at least he’s freaking adorable… the pic of him sleeping and smiling is so awesome!

  8. Wishing you the best. It will get better, I promise. You just need to go into each day with a clear mind and no expectations. I found my expectations are what got me down on our hard days!

  9. YES! Babies are soooo hard! I remember the newborn stage well (although people tell you you forget…I didn’t!) I held him pretty much every single nap until my maternity leave was over (yep, screw you parenting books) and never regretted a single moment. We all do the best we can and do whatever works for us! You’re doing great mama!

  10. So hard. But it gets way easier and you forget all about the hard stuff and then you want to do it all over again!! ha ha You are doing awesome. Hang in there. Getting out of the house really helps!

  11. Oh man, I know exactly what you are going through. I literally, LITERALLY held my baby all day long. Or until someone came over or my husband came home and could give me a bit of a break, but even then my baby ONLY wanted me. It was tough and exhausting. I logged more hours on Netflix than I’m proud of. But I also don’t regret holding my baby all day long. Basically, I just set up camp on the couch with my snacks and the remote and binged watched some awesome shows while baby nursed and napped, and repeat. And while I couldn’t ever imagine that my life would not be that, it did change and now I wish I could binge watch a show during the day, haha!

    But honestly, the first 3 months were the hardest. And then it got a little better after that, but it was still hard. As for no sleep – would it be more helpful to have Wes in the room with you? Or do you just not sleep at all then? Don’t let anyone tell you baby has to be in his own room by X number of days, etc. I’m a firm believer that you do what you gotta do to get some sleep and keep your sanity.

    Also, I know we’ve never met IRL, but I’m moving back to Calgary at the end of May and will have ample time to get together should you ever want to! And you don’t have to get out of your pyjamas or yoga pants for me! 😉

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