That Sh*t Cray

Oh hey there.

What have you been up to? I’ve been doing a lot AND nothing at all lately.

The weeks have been FLYING by- work has been crazy busy and I’ve been cramming my weekdays to basically look like this: work; workout at lunch; work; dinner; walk dogs; do T25 workout; sleep. And lots of house stuff mixed in between. T minus a couple weeks before we have a full house and we are still aiming at finishing the kitchen! That shit cray.

cray

Currently:

Photo on 2014-06-23 at 8.03 PM

See that? It’s a real bed. With sheets and pillows and fancy guest towels. Come and stay at my house, I now have a place for you to stay. And yes, that is me RIGHT.NOW. See how wiped I look? That’s the norm now. I actually ran out of makeup a little over a month ago and haven’t bothered to replenish my stash. It’s pretty much some stale (is that what you call it?) mascara and a bit of a highlighter pencil.

You know what other grown up things I’ve been doing? Weed whacking. And mowing. I felt pretty damn badass tackling our jungle of a neglected backyard yesterday until I had a small realization that there was a strong chance it wasn’t just bits of grass pelting into my face and that there might’ve been poop in there too since I haven’t picked any up in a while.

Run on sentence for the win.

And then: I cut contact paper for the kitchen shelves and drawers.

To counter all this adultness, I’ve been randomly breaking into song and dance about butts and playing with the dogs.

Balance.

(ugh. I just googled ‘balance’ on the off-chance of inserting a funny balance meme and google images showed me a penis. I don’t get it)

Thinking of trying T25? I recommend it. Why? Because I have been drinking beer and doing these workout and bam: abs. Insert shameless abbie (selfie of my abs?) here. I made sure not to use the one that had a serious headlight issue, if you know what I mean.

photo 1-12

Can we talk about how awesome and diverse Netflix is? Last week, I was on a serious binge of lesbionic Orange Is The New Black, then watched Craigslist Joe and followed it up with a docu-series on Russell Peters. What the what? I like it. I feel so cultured.

My dogs are good if you were wondering. Layla has lost a ton of weight. But she still refuses to eat her breakfast unless you sprinkle cheerios over her food. I took them for a 4.5 mile walk around the community this weekend, only to return to a locked house and no one home. So I took them through the back gate and sat in the pool with Layla for a bit. Then followed her to the patio to dry off.

photo 3-9

I am obsessed with these two songs lately. They’re on repeat until my ears bleed.

I really want to get a group of friends together and dress and dance just like that. ^ I’m not even close to joking.

I had a smoothie with cauliflower in it. Yup, do it. So good.

Guess what? It’s 2 weeks until my birthday! I probably won’t have a party, but I definitely think cake will be had for breakfast. Oh my god I’m going to be so old. Almost 30 and my major claim to fame is moving to Canada. Must do more life-changing things, stat.

Random

I’ve found lately that I’ve been skipping over a ton of the new posts in my blogroll. All of them are starting to mesh together and just sound the same. What I *do* like are the random posts because they are funny and they keep me reading. So I figured I’d only write stuff that I’d actually want to read myself.

But first I just want to get something off my chest. The sucky part is that most all the people important in my life read this blog, so it might come off offensive. To those people: I apologize, but it’s my internet space and I just want to put it out there because otherwise, I’ll find myself on the train again tomorrow morning gritting my teeth thinking about it. So shh.

shh

Here goes: I’ve spend a TON of my money (and Tyler’s money) to go back to various places in the states to visit my friends. In the 2.5 years I’ve lived here, I’ve only had one visitor. WAHH! Sure the excuses are valid, but damn it, I got over the guilt and pain and sadness of emptying my bank account on expedia. (Don’t worry, I’m already prepped to answer any incoming emails or Facebook messages about this. I’m not holding it against you guys! I’m just expressing my bummi-ness over it!! And if I DO get sad about it, I workout and/or drink.)

On to funner things. Remember, this is my internet space so I can use words like funner and bummi-ness and ERMAHGERD.

Another fun song in my playlist rotation:

Here’s where I DON’T talk about the status of our kitchen reno and the current state of our entire home because I’d get CRAZY

crazy

I have no new fitness news other than I’m now on week 2 of T25 (supplemented with about 3-4 additional workouts throughout the week, because…I’m crazy)

photo-12

Apparently wearing sunglasses indoors after a workout is a thing now? No, no it isn’t.

We went to Five Guys for dinner Friday and for 2 burgers, one drink and one fry it was TWENTY FIVE FREAKING DOLLARS. It also took 21 minutes for our food to be ready. Consider this my official complaint.

burger

I bought some cards at Papyrus today- because apparently the drug stores don’t carry them anymore and no one buys them so I have to go to the specialty card store where they come individually wrapped and I’m like WHAT- (deep breath after that quick rant) The cheapest ones I could find were $5.99. Since went did cards get so damn expensive? And it cost me $1.80 to send ONE to the States.

PS: I’m poor

And yes, I do get excited for every dollar I have in my possession.

dollar

Side note: the housing market here is NUTS. We live in one of the more mature neighborhoods of the city (brief pause: my computer keeps autocorrecting ‘neighborhood’ because it’s freaking Canadian and wants to add a ‘u’ to the word. Not happening, Canadian Macbook, not happening) back to the story: so the neighborhood is desirable both in location, size of plots, and maturity, yadda yadda and the average price seems to be around $500k for something, say, 1300 sq ft, 3 bed, 2 bath. Well, I’m super nosey and went online to check a new listing on the street behind our and it’s listed for $730k! WTF. Also, I want $730k.

(ps the house isn’t pretty)

This week is super crazy at work because my coworker that I’m paired with is on vacation. So of course, I’m deflecting tons of extra emails *DUMB EMAILS* and just overall stressed. When someone asks me a question, I’ve basically given them the Dwight look for the past two days:

work

Ending on a high note: Tyler and I made a trip to the bottle return on Saturday and made a whopping $78. BOOM.

what

Random

I am way better at posting random stuff.

I am obsessed with this song:

The downer is that I watched the video and it sorta ruined it for me. I hate when music videos do that.

I am also really loving this song:

But umm, that video? WHACK. And I can’t find it on iTunes. What the junk?!

Ok, so a few weeks ago, I was listening to one of the popular radio stations and someone had called in and the convo went like this:

Caller: CAN I GET ANY LADY GAGA TICKETS?!!!!!!

DJ: No, sorry

Caller: TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?!!!!

BAhahaha I could not stop laughing. (get it, like the song?) haha, witty comeback radio caller, witty comeback.

turndown

The other day, our head office sent out a dress code reminder. Of course everything is aimed towards women. You know, because GOD FORBID we wear anything that could distract the MEN. Dumb men.

Anyways, we aren’t allowed to wear dresses that are more than 4 inches above our knees. CALLING ALL TALL PEOPLE: do you not agree with me that it’s near impossible to find those? I should also mention, the reminder also mentioned we aren’t allowed to wear long dresses. Umm ok……so I’m confused. Guess I’ll just pull an Ariel

dress

 

I have been drinking chocolate milk like you wouldn’t believe. It’s been my breakfast every morning for the past month or so and I just can’t get enough. Nom nom nom

chocolatemilk

I watched Austenland this week and I’m pretty sure if I were still single I would do the same thing as Keri Russell. I LOVE me some Mr. Darcy.

austenland

I hate that most athletic shorts have built in undies. MY BUTT IS BIGGER THAN THE UNDIES. Then there’s VPL and that’s no bueno. Don’t worry, I won’t post a pic of that. Let’s all take a second and shudder at the thought of that image.

Ok, that’s it for now.

Sunnies!

Me again.

I have been so busy that I forgot to talk about something I got in the mail recently: Nectar Sunglasses.

Image

About the brand: Nectar sunglasses is in the business of enjoying life. The brand launched with the intention of capturing the essence of living life to the fullest. Promoting doing what you love and loving what you do. Daring to go where no else will. The concept is simple – connect a diverse network of individuals with a common thread – to enjoy life more. Nectar’s goal is to spread the sweet life with their unique mix of advertising, personalities, athletes and products.  The culture stems from athletes, artists, musicians and other like minded people.

Cool, huh?

I visited their website and chose the desperado frames. They had a pinkish/orangish hue with an aviator look. SWEET. I was super excited to get them and rock them HARD around town. Especially since I had recently sat on my tried and true sunglasses.

Flash forward to mail day- I quickly whipped them out and 1.) they were slightly bent out of shape from being mailed. 2.) they weren’t dark enough to keep me front squinting! Ok, so burn for the bright-day wear. These are strictly (in my opinion) fashion glasses. Now someone just has to invite me to a party so I can show up wearing these bad boys.

Image

I’ve had them a couple weeks now and I have tried them on with every outfit I’ve worn since. I only took them off because I can’t really wear them IN the office. That would just be weird.

If you’re in the market for some cool eyewear, I encourage you to check out their website to pick out a pair OR TWO to rock with your upcoming warm weather attire. Best part: if you DO want to purchase some of these neat sunnies, you can get 10% off when you click HERE and enter the promo code ‘lovenectar‘ 

You’re welcome in advance.

Oh Hey

hello

I’m having a hard time writing lately. There’s really not that much to say or that much I care to have a one sided conversation about. That said, bringing you up to speed:

  • I went to Chicago to visit my college roommate and we did a lot of drinking and eating and staying in our pjs and laughing.
  • We are STILL working on the kitchen. I think this is week 4(?) of no appliances.

See, that’s it. You’re up to speed.

I’m gonna word vom some  stuff: I have been pretty good about my workouts- lots of variety. I’ve also been pretty good about my eats. And I feel great about my fitness, but I don’t feel great about how I actually FEEL. I see my muscles in the mirror and I can see what they do in my workouts (and lifting sheet rock) but all I can FEEL is large (not fat..I just feel big). Is that weird? To actually confess that I’m a-ok with my body and how I am taking care of it- but I just don’t like how big my legs feel or that I almost waddle because of my thighs or that I have about 7 rolls when I sit?  Meh..not sure how to explain it.

jm

I have been walking the dogs about 1.5-3 miles a day.

I have been working out 5-6 days/week.

Ok, shh time I can’t dwell on it. Oh, except for the # of dimples I counted (or lost count of) on the back of my legs. I don’t hate that they’re there, just hate that they’re almost as prevalent as they were at my heaviest and unhealthiest.

Yeah, yeah, I drink alcohol, but that’s my splurge and I’m not giving it up because I work hard to be able to have something I enjoy.

Oh, and I started T25.

MOVING ON.

I need girl time. Sometimes- at random times during the week- I rack my brain and my contact list- in attempts to reach out to people to hang out. A.) No one responds well to last minute plans B.) people have lives. This makes me sad because sometimes I just wanna hang. Not in my house. Not with Tyler. Not with the dogs. I wanna have a full social calendar! Then I get sad when I get stuck in a dead end.

STOP BEING SO DEPRESSING JEN.

I dunno, I think social media is just overwhelming with the amount of positive things that it makes me feel inadequate?

modern

Combine all this emotional junk with a house turned upside down mid-reno and you’ve got yourself a complete train wreck.

emotion

It’ll get better (SEE: I’M POSITIVE! Just venting)