Oh Hey

hello

I’m having a hard time writing lately. There’s really not that much to say or that much I care to have a one sided conversation about. That said, bringing you up to speed:

  • I went to Chicago to visit my college roommate and we did a lot of drinking and eating and staying in our pjs and laughing.
  • We are STILL working on the kitchen. I think this is week 4(?) of no appliances.

See, that’s it. You’re up to speed.

I’m gonna word vom some  stuff: I have been pretty good about my workouts- lots of variety. I’ve also been pretty good about my eats. And I feel great about my fitness, but I don’t feel great about how I actually FEEL. I see my muscles in the mirror and I can see what they do in my workouts (and lifting sheet rock) but all I can FEEL is large (not fat..I just feel big). Is that weird? To actually confess that I’m a-ok with my body and how I am taking care of it- but I just don’t like how big my legs feel or that I almost waddle because of my thighs or that I have about 7 rolls when I sit?  Meh..not sure how to explain it.

jm

I have been walking the dogs about 1.5-3 miles a day.

I have been working out 5-6 days/week.

Ok, shh time I can’t dwell on it. Oh, except for the # of dimples I counted (or lost count of) on the back of my legs. I don’t hate that they’re there, just hate that they’re almost as prevalent as they were at my heaviest and unhealthiest.

Yeah, yeah, I drink alcohol, but that’s my splurge and I’m not giving it up because I work hard to be able to have something I enjoy.

Oh, and I started T25.

MOVING ON.

I need girl time. Sometimes- at random times during the week- I rack my brain and my contact list- in attempts to reach out to people to hang out. A.) No one responds well to last minute plans B.) people have lives. This makes me sad because sometimes I just wanna hang. Not in my house. Not with Tyler. Not with the dogs. I wanna have a full social calendar! Then I get sad when I get stuck in a dead end.

STOP BEING SO DEPRESSING JEN.

I dunno, I think social media is just overwhelming with the amount of positive things that it makes me feel inadequate?

modern

Combine all this emotional junk with a house turned upside down mid-reno and you’ve got yourself a complete train wreck.

emotion

It’ll get better (SEE: I’M POSITIVE! Just venting)

5 thoughts on “Oh Hey

  1. I don’t think my Marriage would survive a kitchen Reno so props to you guys!! Hope it’s done soon!

    Nope I totally get it. Some of us are just built with thighs and skin that rolls when we sit. I try to not get too depressed about it because short of plastic surgery and hip shrinking (is that even a thing?) I can’t change it. Try to focus on the awesome parts of your body. You are hot, fit and strong.

    I miss being able to be spontaneous. I almost always have to plan stuff ahead or it doesn’t happen.

    • I *am* glad that I can acknowledge I love my fitness and eating habits. Just stinks that sometimes I don’t feel comfy in my own skin. boo hiss.

      I say I miss spontaneity but I think I’m just starting to migrate from it and I don’t want to admit it 😉

  2. A big part of why I dislike adult life is that no one works well to short notice plans. I have a few acquaintances that do that on purpose to me as they know if they do that then they don’t have to hang out with me, which is probably a whole other thing in itself and why they are just acquaintances instead of friends.

  3. I am WAY behind on blog reading. Whoops! I understand feeling that way, and sometimes I feel like it’s more frustrating because I do workout so much and do watch what I eat. Doesn’t make sense! Hope you’re feeling better by this point 🙂

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