My Reaction to Babies

Posted on March 20, 2014 by Jen @nutcaseinpoint

I want babies. Correction: baby. Singular. Probably sooner rather than later. Problem is, Tyler wants to wait soooommmmeee moreeeeee- you know, ‘to get financially ready” yadda yadda yadda, and I kinda want to keep drinking, so yeah that’ll probably make it a while. But just because I want one of those little things of my own, doesn’t mean I’m goo goo gaa gaa over the bajilliionty of them I see on Facebook, Instagram, and in real life.

No, I don’t want to hold your baby. No, I don’t want to hang out with you and your baby. Because that’s just not me. I can’t get into that. (I know what all you moms are saying: “Oooooh but it’ll all change once you have a kid. Trust me.” PFFFF I know that. But until then, I will stay AWAY.)

I mean, I’m probably just not ready for it, anyways. Some of my reactions aren’t entirely favorable around the youngins.

When I hear babies screaming in close proximity:

When I see someone changing a poop explosion as I walk into a public restroom:

When I have to wait 49 minutes for the lady with the baby in front of me TO GET OUT OF THE WAY:

When people want to show me pictures of their babies:

When people are gushing over babies, I’m all:

When Tyler and I watch a movie with Chris Hemsworth, Charlie Hunnam, or Ben Affleck:

Whoops. How did that slip in there.

When I see a kid throwing a bitch fit:

Ugly babies:

Those are rare, since babies tend to just be naturally cute. Everything about them is miniature. But there are a select few where it’s like HOT DAMN.

When people ask if Tyler and I are going to have kids:

When people are stuck at home wiping up spit and shit and having a fit, I’m over here all childless and like:

When I think about childbirth:

And when I realize that I get to mother one of those brats one day:

All this baby talk makes me want a beer…

Winesday Wednesday

Posted on March 19, 2014 by Jen @nutcaseinpoint

Happy Winesday Wednesday, folks!

It’s been a while. Too long, really. This whole ‘working’ gig has really put a damper on my Wednesday drinking schedule. I really just can’t do alcohol during the week (even a glass!) otherwise, I’m totally thrown off for the rest of the week. And Friday becomes less fun.

But I’m gonna try to bring it back. Keyword: TRY. Just to share what I’ave had. And maybe get some suggestions from you guys. Or maybe it’ll just turn into a reason for me to find wine-related photos online. I DUNNO.

What I want to share with you this week (Hint: It’s alcohol)

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THIS. Do you know who makes this? Wayne Gretzky, that’s who. And you think it would be one of those craptastic wines to bring as a funny dinner party gift. But you know what? Bring it as a gift. Because it’s actually pretty tasty. And here in Canada, it costs a measly $20. Then imagine everyone loving the wine and drinking all of it and having a grand old time.

That would be if you’re social. But me? I like to drink my wine in my pajamas on the couch. In the dark. With 2 dogs worth of drool and hair all over.

Here’s another wine to try:

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Jo introduced this to me last weekend on my visit. It’s too bad the bottle was half empty when I got there, otherwise I would have had a much bigger buzz going into the hot tub! (If this is the part where I’m supposed to explain to you what it tastes like: it tastes like red wine. Red wine that is super easy to drink.)

Boozy things of interest:

Peeps Jello Shots. WHO’S INVITING ME OVER FOR EASTER BECAUSE I WILL BE DRUNK ON THESE ALL DAY. (all caps= extreme excitement)
Sparkling Fruit Sangria. I think this will be made a lot this summer with some of our fist batch of homemade wine. No, the wine isn’t bad…
Wine. All the Time. Recipes (with booze). Reviews (about booze). And humor. Happy happy happy.
Rocky Mountain Wine and Food Festival- Banff. A day filled with WINE and FOOD. IN THE MOUNTAINS. Who wants to go with me?
This shirt. I want it. I need it. Give it to me.

Just Thoughts

Posted on March 18, 2014 by Jen @nutcaseinpoint

Let’s see how much I can bust out before I leave for the gym in exactly……12 minutes.

Here goes.

1. Blogging. Starting to not like it. Both the writing of it and the reading of it. I think blogging has integrated too much with other forms of social media and I just can’t catch a break when I want to read fun/random things- no sponsored stuff, or top xx number of reasons to do this or that, or how many ways to bake with bananas. Perhaps I’ve just been around so long that it’s all getting repetitive? Or I’m following a lot of the wrong people. Sure, point the blame at me why don’t you! That’s why I just now love to follow my fellow little guys (re: bloggers) who maintain ‘KEEPING IT REAL’

Was that offensive to anyone? Sorry.

2. On a lighter note, I love wine.

3. And I love Downton Abbey. Oh Christ, did I just admit that? Yeah, I hopped on the DA wagon recently on Netflix. It’s quality film to fall asleep to each night. It also sparks some interesting dreams. Like….Mr. Darcy-esque dreams. Those are the good dreams, yaknowwhatimean?!!

(source)

4. Literally….I can’t…. (watch the video and nod in agreement)

5. I am going to make this public oath to now try to make as many different types of nut butters as possible. Because? Delicious, that’s why.

6. I am looking forward to this weekend. Yeah, sure, for the whole “let’s go to pick out appliances then hit up Costco then meet the cabinet lady’ business, but also for PJ’s and Beer. And maybe pizza.

I did good for 12 minutes.

Help

Posted on March 18, 2014 by Jen @nutcaseinpoint

So here’s the situation:

I bought two tickets to see Kings of Leon in Calgary on April 1. I bought them back in December when they went on sale thinking they’d sell out quick. Mmmmnope.

And I thought it would be easy peasy to find someone to go with me since Tyler came out of the gate saying he wasn’t going to attend.

Well, not so easy peasy. I’ve posted it on Facebook a few times and no bites. What the heck?! Same thing on twitter. STRANGERS on twitter don’t even respond to my invitation when using hashtags that include #free #concert and #yyc (I.e. Calgary).

I obviously texted all acquaintances as well. Nothing.

I’m not going to NOT go. I bought tickets to see them a few years back in NY and my friend bailed last minute so I flew solo. But that was an outdoor venue and a totally different scene. Plus, I ran I to people I knew since I’d lived in NY. But now I’m in Canada where I know insignificantly smaller portion of the population.

Any advice?? Should I sell the other ticket? Bribe Tyler (won’t work)? Or just go alone and use the extra seat for my coat and beer holder?

Help!

Hashtag Married People

Posted on March 10, 2014 by Jen @nutcaseinpoint

What do you do on a Saturday when you’re married homeowners? You go to Home Depot and Ikea and visit cabinet/granite showrooms and discuss measurements and pricing and color options.

Right?

Apparently.

So that’s what we did. And it was fun slash exhausting slash time consuming. I won’t bore you with the details. We wrapped up the excursion with beer/dinner at our favorite local spot then headed home to remove the popcorn ceilings, another wall, and some (formally) important beams. Yippee.

Sunday consisted of a failed run to the dump (not open on Sundays in March), grocery shopping for the week, my car’s first trip to the car wash, hot yoga, and laundry. Hashtag superfunday. We ended the day with some homemade pizza, Walking Dead, and True Detectives, and then I had indigestion and terrible dreams. Woop for the weekend, y’all.