Babies are Hard

So, having a baby is hard. Ok, wait having the baby wasn’t the hard part…caring for the baby is.

I dropped my parents off at the airport early Monday morning and basically haven’t stopped crying since. I can’t believe I was actually excited for how life alone (during the weekdays) with a newborn would be because now that I’m experiencing it, I am:

  • exhausted
  • in pain (mental/physical/you name it)
  • sad
  • angry (yes, there are those fleeting moments)
  • depressed
  • tired
  • tired
  • tired

Babies are HARD WORK. I think doing 100 consecutive burpees would be an easier task- seriously. Or having an insane hangover. Easy compared to making sure the baby is dry, fed, and happy. Yeah yeah, I am SUPER grateful for having this tiny little human and yeah I think he is the most gorgeous, perfect little dude and wouldn’t have it any other way, but WOOF.

Another thing? I’m dying to have anything non-baby related in my life. You know, to feel….normal. Maybe I’ll have more fitness related things to chat about once I start working out again? And alcohol is at a minimum since the kid eats ALL.THE.DAMN.TIME. He’s a tank. Did I mention that he is 4 weeks old and already past 10 lbs? CHUNK

Great, now I’m looking at him in his bouncy seat and I’m starting to cry. Cry because I love him so much and cry because he is driving me crazy. Cry because he is so freaking adorable and HAS DIMPLES; cry because I don’t want to hold him for 8 hours straight because that’s the only time he won’t cry. Cry because I don’t know why he’s crying. Basically, lots of crying.

On a positive note, I’ve met with a lactation consultant 2x now and she has helped me correct my form which has made the feedings much easier. Plus, I mentioned to her that I loved the pillow they have in the room, and she gave me the number of the place where they are specially made so I picked one up ASAP and it is so much more comfortable than the Boppy.

Run on sentence, whatever.

I’m not complaining. Call it an airing of grievances. I just gotta get it off my chest and maybe *somehow* I can find comfort in knowing that everyone goes through this and eventually it will all get better.

Wait..it WILL get better.

Ah, I feel better already.

photo 5-17

photo 3-40

photo 1-54

High/Low

Hi there, ho there internet friends! I didn’t mean to be away for almost a week, but life got in the way! It has been quite the week of highs and lows which I thought I’d share (only some because I can’t remember everything. SHEESH)

high: My little man is 3 weeks old today and weighs a hefty 9lbs 4oz

low: My little man is 3 weeks old today and he’s so big. I want to be back in the hospital with his super newness and tinyness

high: My godparents from Las Vegas visited us this weekend! It was a full house and felt a bit hectic, but I’m so glad they got to meet Wes and hang out for a few days.

low: I was in the shower the other day and realized Wes’ birth happened so fast that my mom wasn’t in the delivery room, so I cried.

cry

high: I *think* I’m just about back to my fighting weight. I don’t weigh myself to determine where I am, I prefer to go by how I feel. And I feel pretty great. I have the itch to start working out again, but I know I need to take my time and I’ve been walking every day. No stretch marks and only a bit of a funny belly button right now, but I know that’ll go away after time.

photo 1-53

low: Wes got his you know what snipped today. He didn’t cry at all throughout the procedure, but it absolutely kills me when he whimpers through diaper changes.

high: I had two successful nights with Wes! Granted, it takes a HUGE chunk of time to feed/burp/change/snuggle him each time, but it’s worth it to have a cry-free session (SO RARE)

low: I hate when he cries. Or pouts. It makes me cry. A lot. A lot a lot.

high: I had 2 margaritas on Saturday! Then took a nap. GLORY GLORY.

raisetheroof

low: My parents leave in less than a week and I’m still not convinced I can do this whole baby thing without their help. Tyler and I have a loose plan on how we will tackle things once they leave, but I’m still scared.

high: I’m back to walking the puppies again! I try to shoot for about 2 miles a day with them.

photo 2-50

low: I miss sleep. So hard. I haven’t got more than a 4 hour stretch and that’s with my parents here helping out. It probably doesn’t help that I have a monitor RIGHT in front of my face at night and I am 1-800-paranoid that I have to keep an eye on him at.all.times. The other morning, my mom heard Wes had the hiccups and went to check on him. I didn’t even hear it and I had the sound on the monitor! I smell faulty parenting on my part.

high: Watching Tyler be a dad. He’s so good. Heart=melted.

photo-52

low: I know this newborn phase won’t last forever, but I feel like such a bag lady hanging around the house in my undies and bathrobe all day (newborn= unpredictable schedule). At least I shower every day, but Tyler must be questioning my hygiene.

bathrobe

high: I’ve been eating pretty healthy! Gotta mostly thank my parents for that one- they’ve made mostly every trip to the grocery store over the past few weeks so there has always been fruits/veggies at my disposal. But then again, there has also been more candy, chips, foods that involve mayo….

low: A slight breastfeeding mishap that resulted in super lots of pain (on my part). A few phone calls/appointments later and I have an ointment that is a god send.

thankyou

And to end this on a high note: RIBS FOR DINNER.

Newborn Photos

I don’t think many words are needed except that Whitney did an excellent job taking all these photos. Check back in tomorrow if you’re interested in a Wes: Week 2 post!

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Late Weekend Recap

In case you’re wondering what I’ve been up to lately, it’s only really been one thing: trying to keep a baby alive. Holy hell is it time consuming or what?! The days are pretty easy, but it’s getting him used to the nighttime schedule that has been the absolute pits. I think mostly because I’m tired + I’m convinced I’m doing it wrong + it’s kinda scary and lonely being up alone at night trying to figure out the whole baby thing. And don’t get me started on when I google all things baby on the internet, because it leaves me feeling even MORE confused and overwhelmed and anxious and any other similar adjective.

Good thing my mom is here.

She has really helped take over when I reach my breaking point and just start crying for no reason (see? I am crying now. Mostly because I’m convinced my child hates me. That’s normal, right? Because he seems to settle when anyone else makes an attempt. Except for me)

Ok, so on to actual things we did over the past few days. Note: Must type fast so I can squeeze in a nap before baby wakes up

Friday: Whitney came over to take a bunch of pics of Wes. I am DYING to see all the photos. She was really great with him and I would pay her to come over everyday to swaddle him. She already posted a sneak peak on Facebook and I’ve been staring at it nonstop.

wes

That night, Tyler and I went to The Keg for dinner to celebrate our anniversary/first week of baby. We told the waiter, but he didn’t give us a free dessert…so that sucked. We did order a bottle of wine and I had a glass but felt so guilty about it and now I’m afraid to drink because I’m paranoid about passing it to the baby. Among other unknown guilt feelings.

kegdinner

Saturday: I think we did nothing? I don’t remember. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I stayed in my jammies all day and fed/changed/burped a baby. Maybe I showered. Definitely didn’t sleep. There was a hockey game on TV at some point. My mind is so fuzzy.

Sunday: After a lovely feast of bacon and eggs, my mom and I took Wes to Cross Iron Mills (outlet/regular mall combo). Yeah, BAD IDEA. Everyone from the city of Calgary was there. I don’t do well with crowds. Especially when 95% of said crowd was comprised of unruly children. We squeaked out with a few outfits for Wes then came home to a nice steak dinner. After feasting on a caramel apple, of course (we split just one of those. Guess how much they cost? $9 EACH. Insane)

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{insert 60 minute break to feed/bathe Wes. Naked new babies are really cute}

Monday: Again, not too much to report. I started the day with some peanut butter banana protein pancakes. NOMSOHARD.

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For six silver-dollar sized pancakes:

  • 3/4 c oats
  • 2 egg whites
  • 3/4 c greek yogurt
  • 2 T peanut butter
  • 1/2 banana

Add first 4 ingredients to immersion blender until smooth. Pour batter on hot skillet and top with thin slices of banana. Flip. Top with maple syrup. Jam into face hole.

My mom and I then took Wes to Market Mall and bought OURSELVES some makeup. #treatyoself. Although I’m dying a little on the inside at how much it all cost. Whatever.

photo 3-39

Which brings us to today. PHEW. Wes is on somewhat of a schedule (eat, change, activity, sleep. REPEAT A BILLIONTY TIMES). And we’ve managed to have him sleep in his crib at night which is apparently a miracle? Although I’m glued to the monitor the hole night since I’m convinced he will be stolen or something.

How was your weekend??

Five Friday Favorites

Happy Friday! Today is a big day- Whitney is coming over to take newborn photos of Wes. And Tyler and I are going out to dinner for our anniversary! (Big thanks to grandma and grandpa for babysitting for an hour or two!)

I thought I’d share my five top favorite things from the past week (aside from Wes, because he would probably win every week)

1. Hospital issued underwear. I mean, they are ridiculously comfy. I was able to snag a bunch of extra pairs from the nurses before leaving the hospital and am really sad they only last through a few washes before they start to fall apart.

photo-51

2. Buttered Popcorn Rice Cakes- I don’t ever buy these but my dad picked up a few packages from the store and now I am obsessed. My mom got some of the caramel ones but I am trying to steer clear of those because I know once I start on them I won’t be able to stop. Nom nom nom

rice cakes

(source)

3. Quest Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough bars- Tyler is THE BEST and picked me up a box of these so I could have some in my hospital bag (we were told the hospital food could either be bad or limited and to pack lots of snacks. Turns out, that wasn’t the case and I was actually offered a few meals with some really great options) I only ate one in the hospital, but I’ve found these bars to be PERFECT to snack on at around 1am in between feedings. Only problem? The wrapper is loud as hell so it’s pretty unpleasant for Wes when I am trying to unwrap one of those suckers and he’s on the boob.

I’m pretty pumped that we just got a $10 off coupon for the local supplement store so I can pick up another box!

quest quest

(source)

4. Juddlies Breathe-Eze Sleeper- After the first few nights of having Wes home, we realized he is not a baby that likes to be swaddled. We’ve found (for right now) the best solution is to have him in a sleeper with a light swaddle from the waist down. We also found out that we had only one newborn sized sleeper, so we had made a few trips to pick up some extras. This Juddlies sleeper is SO soft and it’s breathable, so we don’t have to worry about him sweating or being too cold throughout the night.

sleeper

(source)

5. Starbucks Unsweetened Black Tea Lemonade- this is one of my summertime favorites and I’ve managed to pop into Starbucks a couple times this week because the weather was so nice it practically begged me to order it. Mmm mm so delicious.

starbucks

(source)

So yeah. most of my favorites are food related. A close runner-up are some of the dinners we’ve had this week: they’ve all been yummy, summery dishes. I just love food. And having my parents in the house to prepare most of it has just been wonderful. Plus, there’s an endless supply of fruit on the counter, so I’m not complaining.

What’s something on your favorites list from this week?